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Reflection

by C.S.

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1.
Intro: Still Here (echoing) Verse 1: The pain ate away at me I felt hollow as can be Depression growing inside Killing me in stride I ask, "what the fuck is happening to me?" I couldn't take it any more, I wanted the pain to end Sick mentally as can be Death for me was likely I made that decision to grow some pills Taking them one at a time Waiting for my heart to stop Then, something happened I choked and spit them out If I hadn't choked, maybe I wouldn't be rapping on this track right now Chorus: I felt dead on the inside I didn't know if I was gonna live or die It was scary as hell I almost bid farewell I'm still here, don't know how I guess my will is strong as hell Overcome this shit I did (echoing) Verse 2: When the pills didn't work I thought about what to do next I went in to the kitchen, took out a knife Was ready to cut away my life I put the blade at my wrist Hoping by the end, I wouldn't exist But then, something happened I dropped the knife It fell to the floor, when it did I cried hard I couldn't do it, I hadn't drawn my death card Several weeks later I finally decided to get help I didn't want to feel that way any more Was sick of the pain I was going through So here I am, I made the ultimate breakthrough (echoing) Chorus: I felt dead on the inside I didn't know if I was gonna live or die It was scary as hell I almost bid farewell I'm still here, don't know how I felt dead on the inside I didn't know if I was gonna live or die It was scary as hell I almost bid farewell I'm still here, I made the ultimate breakthrough
2.
On The Rise 01:40
Verse 1: Oh yeah, let's get it, to the top here we go Tip-top, going with the flow I'm here riding through this life Not looking for strife No problems, no drama Just doing me Giving myself the power, the key To open these doors So I can walk these floors With a smile on my face This life I'm starting to embrace Ready to enjoy the finer things before I spread my angel wings Rocking out, rapping away Let's party because I'm on the rise okay? Hook: Living life on the rise Time to recognize I'm doing what I do Talking with my crew We ridin' high 'till the day we die Oh yeah, let's get it Verse 2: Adrenalin' pumpin', here we go Verse number two, move to this flow Everywhere I go, not looking at what's below I'm looking up above This I love Keeping that positivity going Which keeps me growing This is my life, the way I want it, the way I want to stay Forget the negatives, remember the positives as I live on the rise (Hook) Outro: Yeah, let's get it
3.
Intro (David Hayter as Big Boss in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker): We will forsake our countries. We will leave our motherlands behind us and become one with this earth. We have no nation, no philosophy, no ideology. We go where were need, fighting not for country, not for government, but for ourselves. We need no reason to fight. We fight because we are needed. We will be the deterrent for those with no other recourse. We are soldiers without borders. Verse 1: Every day our soldiers are off fighting pointless wars No meaning behind it, as they get blown up by the claymores Attending to government agendas Conflicts decided by referendas Fuck that, I say we need to have soldiers without borders Without orders Fighting for what they believe in And not carrying out the governmental sin They are simply being used Only to be abused To die on the battlefield So many lives lost, I wish for this to be appealed That's why I say Hook: Soldiers without borders We need to stop the horrors Men & women dying every day From the bullets that ricochet Damn why must it be this way This is why I convey this idea Verse 2: Guns, bullets, grenades, bombs George Bush got blood on his palms His war crimes he got away with As shit went amiss The U.S. sank in quicksand As our soldiers were fighting wars For his agenda, his daddy's cause All it did was sabotage I do not wish to see this again So my message to Barack Obama Is to not go down that path We don't want to suffer in the aftermath These wars aren't equipped with purpose So that's why I say (Hook) Verse 3: I hope this extends to the masses Making big splashes These are my beliefs That I hope give reliefs To those listening, support your soldiers Give them the hope and prayers they need As they do the government deed No more control That's why I say Outro (David Hayter): Soldiers without borders (fading out)
4.
Hook (Kendrick Lamar): I am a sinner who's probably gonna sin again Lord forgive me, Lord forgive me things I don't understand Sometimes I need to be alone Bitch don't kill my vibe, bitch don't kill my vibe I can feel your energy from two planets away I got my drink, I got my music I would share it but today I'm yelling Bitch don't kill my vibe, bitch don't kill my vibe Bitch don't kill my vibe, bitch don't kill my vibe Verse 1: I really hate this path I walk on, because nobody’s at my side Just myself, nobody down to the ride I guess it’s the story of my life, people coming and going No one really sticking around, there for the moment flowing I ask myself if I am the problem, maybe I am When it comes to people, I always give a damn Even though I generally hate most I just wanna be accepted, have some that are close I live in the city where the heroin keeps being used Getting these people fucked up daily, their lives diffused I also can’t stand these fakes that are around One of the many things I dislike about this town I know I’m not a saint myself but at least I don’t shoot up Thinkin’ about this shit makes me wanna pour liquor into my cup Fuck y’all, you kill my vibe. Bridge: And I can feel the changes I don’t want people around me so they can be famous Find me in the 602 & put my ass on a stage That would be amazing To you that’s a quick check with all disrespect let Kendrick say this (Hook) Verse 2: I’m trying to do what I can to get out of the shit-hole I’m in It’s like a game I can’t win Struggling emotionally and mentally, trying to keep this shit whole No, they can’t have my soul That’s the one thing I can’t afford to lose But that’s what some do so they don’t have to pay dues Cold world that we living in ain’t it? As hard as shit gets, I can’t quit I just wish I would get a break But wishing doesn’t get you anywhere as I wake I pray to God to take away my hardships I hang on for dear life, got a tight grip That’s all I can do really Until I’m able to live freely (Bridge & Hook)
5.
Bridge: Pour up (drank), head shot (drank) Sit down (drank), stand up (drank) Pass out (drank), wake up (drank) Faded (drank), faded (drank) Verse 1: I remember my first taste of alcohol My sobriety flowing down like Niagara Falls Acquired that taste for beer Made my messed up mind clear A temporary solution to my sorrows Trouble soon would follow ‘Cuz while it would relax me It got me close to having shit on my rap sheet It’s fun for the moment Though it makes you unfocused I’d be looking to get fucked up Alcohol causing my mind to be flooded Then someone said to me Hook (Kendrick Lamar): Nigga why you babysitting only two or three shots I'mma show you how to turn it up a notch First you get a swimming pool full of liquor then you dive in it Pool full of liquor then you dive in it I wave a few bottles then I watch em all flock All the girls wanna play Baywatch I got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it Pool full of liquor, I'mma dive in it (Bridge) Verse 2: When I’m buzzed my conscious floats around Drink after drink, I feel it flowin’ down I can drink a shit ton & still be okay But sometimes my head spins like a torpedo plane Thinkin’ I should stop but wanting to keep going My conscious mind keeps closing When I drink, I’m a different person I forget about my horrors ‘cuz the shit hurts Surprised im not an alcoholic at this current time When I’m drunk I feel a certain vibe I should fill my swimming pool full of liquor Dive in it to take me to world that looked familiar But I’ll settle for some shots, trying to create a memory Then, someone said to me (Hook & Bridge)
6.
You 03:12
Verse 1: I know I screwed us up; I kick myself over it daily Ever since then, my life has been grayly You completed me, made me truly happy Without you in my world, life is crappy I miss seeing your face, your smile Haven’t heard that beautiful voice in awhile I would give anything to see and hear you again As I write your name with my pen We both went through so much pain However its making us stronger, ascertain Sometimes I think you’re around me Maybe its because you are etched into my soul with great degree These words I speak are true This is just for you Chorus x2 (Adele): I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded That for me, it isn't over Verse 2: You mean everything to me, more than I ever thought You are amazing in every sense of the word, I just wanna trot In your direction, no turning back You were inspiration for my comeback Stronger now than I was, ready now Looking at you makes me say wow I’m striving for the positives, casting off the negatives So much was in my way, now shedding these inhibitives Wanting and needing a great life I am so done with the strife I’m hoping one day soon we’ll see each other That will be the day I run to you These words I speak are true This is just for you (Chorus x2)
7.
Verse 1: Jesus I had a hard time believing in you But now I do, watching over me, guiding me through I know you have big plans for me, that I'm here for a reason My work on planet earth is far from done Lord give me the strength to keep things going in the right direction That the world will be ridded of corruption Protect us from the wicked and the evil I thank you for my survival Cleanse my heart, mind, and soul Guide me towards my goal Moving onwards in the name of father, son, & holy spirit Amen Verse 2 (Sean Huggan): Yo, this rhyme goes out to the man who died for you and for me He died on the cross to set us free His name is Jesus, the son of God Simply have faith and he'll give you the nod My life was spiraling out of control Alcohol gone wild, it was taking it's toll I lost my touch with reality I think I even lost touch with me Then I received a blessing from above Filled with nothing but love I was introduced to my soon to be wife And gradually I was no longer in strife Chorus (Sean Huggan): Thank you lord for my life Thank you lord for my beautiful wife Thank you lord for my wonderful son Lord you are number one Verse 3 (Sean Huggan): So yeah, what can I say heavenly father but a big thank you You gave me a wife and a little baby too When life was in tatters you showed me the way You saved me lord, what a blessed day When the clouds are gray, you shined on me I could never repay you but to love thee You died on the cross for all of my bad And you blessed me by helping me become a good dad So this rhyme's for you my savior, my hero Save me from the pits of zero (Chorus)
8.
Verse 1: I was caught up in the dark side The demons I encountered weren’t so kind I came from such a small place I’ve been on such a craze Telling these stories through these lyrics No need for gimmicks I just be rappin’ away, sticking to what’s real And I’ll keep turning the wheel One day my struggles will fade away Most likely in the strangest way Tupac Amaru Shakur is the reason I’m doing this Marshall Mathers didn’t refuse his gifts Why should I? There was a point in time where I thought I should die But I’m still here, talkin’ to y’all I’ve experienced life changing things But ill still be same until the end of time Chorus (R.L. Huggar) So take, these broken wings I need your hands to come and heal me once again (Until the end of time) So I can fly away, until the end of time Until the end of time Until the end of time Verse 2: There is a lot of things I wish I could change Deep down I remain chained I’m looking to break free And I will because you can’t break dreams Going to part with the Arizona life Go to a new world, I won’t be defied I’ll achieve that one thing I’ve wanted They asked John Lennon what he wanted to be when he grew up He said happy, that’s exactly what I want I beat depression. I’m not Dead On the Inside, im On The Rise Hopefully one day our Soldiers will be Without Borders, I would then dive into my Swimming Pools full of liquor Asking these Bitches To Not Kill My Vibe My faith remains in Jesus and to You, I say I love you I’ve experienced life changing things But ill still be same until the end of time (Chorus) Ending Chorus (R.L. Huggar): If an angel comes down And takes me away The memories of me And my songs Will always stay Till they can find (Until The End of Time) Until the end of time Till the end of time

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released December 4, 2013

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C.S. Van Wert, Ohio

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